I have often said “I do not think of my own mortality much!” The thought just does
not enter my mind. As I lose friends, and it seems as though I am losing them at
all too fast a rate, I find myself struggling harder with those losses with each
new occurrence. There are times when I think the only thing I do is go to funerals
or send condolences. It just doesn't get easier for me and losing Tom Thomas has
really set me back.

I don’t like using other people’s words to express myself, particularly my own emotions
and especially my own grief. There are things that I absolutely must say for myself
however the words come out. It’s just who I am.

Still, occasionally, I find a piece that speaks to me and for me, better than I
can for myself. Here is: Kaddish, A Mourner’s Prayer. I hope you find as much peace
in it as I have.


When I die give what’s left of me away 
To children, and old men that wait to die. 
And if you need cry, 
Cry for your brother walking the street beside you. 
And when you need me, put your arms around anyone and 
Give them what you need to give me.

I want  to leave you something, 
Something better than words or sounds. 
Look for me in the people I’ve known or loved, and if you
 Cannot give me away, at least let me live in your eyes 
And not in your mind.

You can love me best by letting hands touch hands, and by 
Letting go of children that need to be free. 
Love does not die, people do.
So, when all that’s left of me is love, 
Give me away.

 

I hope some of you find the help that I have found in this prayer. Losing friends
is not easy, but it is a part of life. It’s all the more reason to enjoy every
minute of the time we have together.